“The first 2 things listed to holy living is self control and clear thinking. (1 Peter 1) Must train ourselves in holy thinking in ALL thoughts” and speaking with others.

Saw this on a friends Facebook this morning and had to share it.

I feel like I am always writing about how I am feeling and I never really just
write about what is going on in my life right now, this week, TODAY!! Well, I am
representing for Safe Harbor tonight at the FEM (Female Empowerment Movement)
Fair.  My dear, sweet, sweet, friend Madison Hopkins has poured her heart and
soul in to planning this night and it has truly been a blessing to watch God
work through her while arranging this event. Madison has a huge heart for the
Lord and is working for Him to help women, specifically prostitutes in
Greenville.“We’re expecting to see over 100 women in downtown Greenville tonight
at a local community center.  There, they will receive food, a word from a
motivational speaker, love, gift bags, hugs, and many local representatives of
different outreach sources that could change their lives.  We want to see them
get off the streets and realize that there’s a promise for their life, better
than the one they think they only deserve.”  So, I’m sure there will be many
blessings coming from this event tonight.

I also have some more exciting news… well, for me at least. I am having my first
piano lesson on Wednesday. It will be my first one in… well… its been around
13-14 years. Soooooo, we will see what I remember from years ago. My cousin
Casey is going to work her magic on me with her years of wisdom on the piano
JWish me luck!
On Thursday, Safe Harbor is having is annual Candlelight Vigil for Greenville
County. During this ceremony, we celebrate the survivors of domestic violence
and remember those who lost their lives. Myself, and another co-worker have been
working on this event for months now. So I hope it all comes together
smoothly—looks like its going to be a LONG day of set up and then tear down, but
so worth it. I’m ready for this!!
I’m also excited about this weekend!! Its going to be pretty busy, but all fun
stuff!! Friday, Cody and I FINALLY get a free night and can play kickball with
our undefeated team. Unfortunately, we’ve only helped out with one of the five
weeks so far L…but hey, life gets busy. I’m sure you can all relate. Then, on
Saturday, Cody and I are off to Anderson for AU’s homecoming weekend. We will
join mom, dad, and Emily for some fun homecoming activities. And Cody gets to
check out Anderson University!! He is curious and thinks he might transfer there
next fall. We will see. I think he would be a great fit for Anderson and
Anderson would definitely be lucky to have him! Later that night, I plan to have
even more fun celebrating Kelley Slovenski’s 23rd Bday at Hans and Frans
Biergarten (sp?).

So, as you can see, I’m a busy girl!! But, BRING IT! As stressed as a get
sometimes with an extremely busy schedule, I find it a blessing that its all
things that I choose to do, and with people I love. Hope you all have a blessed
week and weekend ahead! God Bless!!!

Choosing to make a change is easy, the hard part is actually following through with it.  I’ve found that people love to talk about making their life better, changing the negative about themselves, or even cutting bad habits, but it takes great devotion to actually do it.

I made a choice yesterday. I made a choice to change some things about myself. And let me tell you it took a surrender on my part. Have you ever been so stubborn about something and fought God about it until you couldn’t handle it any longer on your own? Well, I have.  Something in my head, a voice, God’s voice, kept playing over and over in my head— “give it to me.” But I kept holding back. Mainly because I was scared of certain outcomes. I was afriad of what His plan might be. BUT… I chose to give it all to Him yesterday, I even said it out loud because to me, that made it even more real.  I had worked myself up to a point that I could not handle.  But to my surprise, neither outcome happened like I though it would.  It was better than I could have imagined and I learned a lot about myself in the process. No matter how hard we fight Him, He always wins.

I have had a major weight lifted from my shoulders in the past couple days. I woke up this morning and felt a certain peace that I havent felt in a while— and its Monday so that is really saying something :)  I hope this experience gives you a little hope and encouragement. I’m still learning to give my struggles, burdens, good times, bad times, and worries to God. But, oh what a peaceful feeling when you finally say, “Ive had enough, God, you take it all!!”

Yes, I know your all in shock, two blogs in two days. WOW! :) Anyways… going to just be completely open and honest…

So basically I worry, overanalyze, dwell on, and stress about things a lot. I know this is an internal struggle of mine that really know one can help me with but God and myself. AND IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, I’m sick of it.  I’ve let it get to the point of really effecting me every day. On a better though, I will say that I have been able to control my anxiety a WHOLE lot better.
I was looking over my calendar for the rest of October and it really did overwhelm me. I’ve had a number of people tell me over and over that I need to take sometime for myself and do something that I love and that makes me happy. So what is my problem? Why won’t I make time for myself? I’ve been wrestling with this for a while now. I guess you could call me the “YES” girl. I think that when I clutter all of my time and constantly go go go is when I overanalyze and stress over things. My life feels like clutter right now. And I need to get back to the basics of what is truly important.

I went and visited the church that I grew up in today, Aldersgate UMC, for the 50th Anniversary. The message was delivered by the Superintendant of Greenville UMC, Rev. Mary Teasley and she preached from Ephesians 2:11-22. Her message talked about the church and getting back to the basics that Jesus taught during His time on the earth. Well, I got a lot from her message, 1. That we are all broken people with struggles no matter how big or small, 2. that we are all alienated from the Kingdom of God and need to constantly strive for it, 3. (a personal one) my life needs to be taken back to the basics or what is important.  

I believe that actions speak louder than words and that your actions truly show what is important in your heart. I’m not going to lie, I don’t put God first in everything I do. I’m stubborn at times and disobidiant. No one said being a Christian would always be easy. But this is one thing I want to change and I’m working on it. Another thing is my family, they mean the world to me, but I know I don’t spend enough time with them. Family is precious, we should never take them for granite.  Also, I have been with an amazing man for a year and 3 months now and have been tremendously blessed. He has taught me so much. He has introduced me to people and gotten me involved in things that I may not have tried without his little push, or small words of encouragement.  But, I ask myself, Have I always showed him how much I appreciate him? I feel like I dewell on the little things sometimes and don’t just live and love. I even have friends that were really close that I havent seen in months, people that have helped shape me into who I am today.

Something has to change. I don’t how, other than following the message I heard today about getting back to the basics. God calls us to love. Love until we are blue in the face.  I’m getting my priorities straight, and I am going to show the important people in my life how much they mean to me.  I’m not going to spread my self so thin that I am neglecting those that love me the most. And, I may eventually just find that one thing to do that makes me happy for myself. Hey, I’m a work in progress, and thank God for that.

So I’m not sure where to begin… I’m amazed at how long I can sit here staring at the vertical line that blinks every second before a word is typed. That’s when you know you mind is in overload. Ok, here goes…

I’ve done a lot of thinking the last couple days…a lot of looking at myself and my actions in great detail. Sure, I believe that I am a better person than I was yesterday, a month ago, 2 years ago, but I’m not as good as I think am, or what I want to be. I have a lot to work on, but you know… the more I think about it, the more it becomes ok with me. I mean who wants to be perfect right now? Who would want to always say and do everything right? Life would be pretty boring if you ask me.

So I starting thinking.. knowing that I’m trying and feeling as though I am progressively becoming the person I believe God wants me to be is a pretty big accomplishment. I know I have a lot of things to work on within myself and my interaction with others.

You know how some people sometimes say, as a cop out, “I’m doing the best I can, ok?” Well I’m sure I have said that and thought that many many times, but I’m not doing the best I can. I want to always know that I can do better: for God, for myself, for my family, for my boyfriend, and my friends. These are the most important people in my life and I want them to know they mean the world to me and help shape me every day. So I am going to change up the quote above, I want to say that, “I’m always going to try the best I can, and better myself every day even through the mistakes.” This is kind of random, but I thought it was time to get some of this off my chest.

And I just decided on a title for this blog… “I’m trying”

So today got interesting very fast. What I thought was going to be a pretty low key, boring day, was quickly turned around at lunchtime.  I was on my lunch break, heading to the bank when a car in front of me decided to turn left really fast at the last minute. So they turned on their blinker and stopped fast. I slammed on my breaks, barely missing them, but the car behind me wasn’t so lucky :( Of course the car in front of me drove off and left myself and the third driver in the road.

Well, of course im freaking out.  An older gentleman and his wife were in the car behind me. We both jump out making sure everyone was alright. He was very nice and helped me take a few pictures before we pulled off the road.

While waiting for the police to come, I learned a lot about this man. He was going through ALOT and was explaining some medical issues his wife has been having and some obstacles they have been facing to get financial help. I took the opportunity to explain what I do for a living and offered to help and refer them to some agencies around our area that might could offer them a little help.  It was evident that these two had a strong Godly relationship as he explained how they had been married 37 years “and counting.”

I just felt so sorry for the man and his wife. He now has a ticket and a car to fix because of the person in front of me :(  As miserable, and hot as it was waiting outside today for the police to come, I really enjoyed meeting and making acquaintance with this couple. They have had their share of obstacles in life and I felt very privileged that he shared so much with me, a stranger.  These two showed me hope and strength in their own relationship through the years. It really was a blessing to meet them. I just wish we hadn’t all met under these circumstances. You never know what type of circumstances you may find yourself in, good or bad, that just may turn out to be a blessing for one or both parties.  I hope I was able to help this couple with some resources to help their situation. They both touched me with their words and life lessons :)

Leaving you with hope,

<3 me!

Most of you who follow me know me pretty well.  So I dont think I need to go in to too much of my background. I want to share a recent eye-opening and lesson- learning experience with you.

I was in a Bible study recently called, “Thinking Beyond Yourself,” by Beth Moore and really felt a strong conviction through her message that day.  The theme was about finding peace within yourself and with others around you. Looking at myself pretty deep, and looking at past experiences, I have come to understand myself as sometimes being passive, nonconfrontational, or what one would label as a “peacekeeper.”  In Matthew chapter 5, verse 9, its says, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God.” This verse really made me evaluate how I handle conflict and other disputes.  God calls us to be peacemakers, not peacekeepers.

So I asked myself? How can I change? God has given me a gift of patience… ALOT of patience. I think that I overuse this gift sometimes in areas where I should speak up for what I believe in and what I think is right.  Don’t get me wrong, patience has helped me in many ways throughout my life, but it has also crippled me in others.

Just think about the difference between these two words: Peacekeeper and Peacemaker. Think about the differences between them. Jesus is the ultimate peacemaker and I want to be like Him. My prayer today is that God will show me how to change from always keeping the peace, to making peace, and seeing change and growth happen within myself and with those around me. Thank you Lord for working through Beth Moore to show me how to better live for You!

Leaving you with hope,

<3 Me!

Hmmm… my first blog. Where to begin? I love to write. English-best subject all through school. I didn’t; although; realize how hard it would be to sit down and put my own personal thoughts down into readable words. I’m hoping this new found hobby will be an affective tool to help me sort out everything that goes on in my head and around me ever day.

First topic: Relationships in our lives

Relationships are tricky. Whether its a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, sibling, friend, acquaintance; they’re all a work in progress. They grow, they change, and sometimes fall apart. I truly believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason. Sometimes people are placed in our lives to teach us, to learn from our example, to show us a different way, to open our eyes to new possibilities.  Whatever the reason may be, they are there for a reason. I pray that through all my relationships that each and every person knows that I truly love and care for them.

        Colossians 3:14 But above all things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

I know I am so far from perfect. But thank God, that I am forgiven and beautifully made for God’s work. I don’t always say the right thing. We can only hope that those around us realize that we are flawed and imperfect. We can only filter what comes out of our mouths and think before we speak. Forgiveness is a strong strong action. To be able to truly forgive is a gift as well. Life is so short. Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. I LOVE LIFE! I LOVE THE LORD! …and am so thankful that God breathed life into me and gave me a chance to prove my love to Him.

I know this blog was a bit here and there. It kind of turned into me just writing whatever came to mind. You know, sometimes, I think that’s what we all need. A way out, a break, a way to just get it all out. I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you.

Like I said… New to this.

Leaving you with hope,

<3 me!